Sunday, February 06, 2005

would you like a cup of coffee?

the singles life is going fairly much the same -- i'm still single and there are not a lot of guys knocking my door down to change that! of course, i'm not knocking anyone else's door down to change that either! i still have my profile posted at, and i do get the fairly regular offers while working at the hotel -- but that's where my life is right now.

in mid-january, i had a bumper week with 5 people contacting me from my profile at two of them i ruled out immediately based on smoking perferences, ruled another one out based on age (or lack thereof -- he's 27!), and i contacted the other two men back. one never contacted me back, so i scratched him off the list -- and that left jerry. we emailed a few times and then chatted on messenger a few times before he asked if he could call me at home so he could hear a voice. we've talked on the phone a few times now as he's more comfortable w/ that, and we've chatted quite a few times b/c that was convenient for me. i usually have some sort of contact w/ him each day, even if it's not a long contact.

he just started the divorce process 2 months ago, so he has that to contend w/ still. he asked if i thought it was bad that he was looking for someone and wasn't even divorced yet, but i didn't have a real good answer for that. i know that if i did a search and his profile had come up, i would have passed him by b/c it only said "separated" instead of "divorced". i'm not condemning his actions, only stating that i would not pursue a relationship w/ someone who i didn't consider available. anyway, the story is that his marriage was actually over long ago and they just kept it going b/c of the kids. now that the youngest is 16, they couldn't do that anymore.

we had talked about possibly meeting in the future at some point, but he was interested in meeting now. i guess he felt there was no need to keep chatting if we didn't think we might want a relationship later. you know -- if one or both of us found the other repulsive, then it wouldn't be a good thing to think we might meet in the future. now, this was a meeting -- not a date. so we didn't have to plan to spend large amounts of time together. we met at the mall deli for a cup of coffee during sunday school, as i had to go back to church to drive the bus for the old ladies. i didn't tell the kids that i was going anywhere, b/c i didn't feel meeting someone for coffee needed a long explanation. it was broad daylight, on a sunday, in a public place, w/ a person who hadn't felt the least bit threatening at all -- so i just struck out on my own.

he was waiting there when i arrived, and i was anxious to see what he looked like. he had seen 2 pictures of me, but i had only seen 1 picture of him -- and it was about 5 years old. at our ages and nearing mid-life, 5 years can mean some terrible things!!! but in this case i actually liked the "in person" better than the photograph. yes, he looked older than the photograph, but that wasn't a bad thing. from talking on the phone, chatting, and emailing, we had already built up some friendship, so it was not hard to find things to talk about. his company was enjoyable, and we had a nice chat. i guess i passed inspection w/ flying colors as he told me that he would like to take me on a date when his divorce was finished. i have no idea how long that will take, but i'm not in any big hurry so that's fine w/ me.

so far, i have a real good impression of him. he was married for 27 years, but the last 10 years have not been good ones. he has 3 sons, w/ the youngest one still living at home and in high school. he has a career w/ a company in joplin and owns a house in webb city. he has been involved in church for most of his life and raised his children in church. he is real focused on family and involved in the lives of his kids. he is easy to talk to, non-threatening (both physically and emotionally), supportive, and willing to work at a relationship. we can easily talk about any topic in person, on the phone, on chat, or whatever. i don't feel like anything is off-limits. for someone w/ a mouth/brain like mine, this is extrememly attractive. of course i have trust issues from past experiences, but so far alarm bells are not going off there, either. so we'll just see how it goes? that in itself is kind of scary -- for someone like me who has been avoiding these things.

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