Monday, August 14, 2006

dressed just right . . .

have you ever had one of those days when you just felt like something was going to get under your skin and rub you the wrong way? overall just flat-out piss you off? well, that's how i felt about today. i just had a bad feeling about it. i could say i had a premonition, but in reality i would have to admit that it was a phone call. well, actually, more than 1 phone call and from more than one person.

disclaimer -- from this point forward, the caller shall be refered to as "he" or "him" because it is inconvenient and awkward to constantly have to insert "he or she" or "him or her" to be grammatically correct. i am unwilling to just refer to "him" as "they" or "them" when in reality it was just 1 person at a time. this in no way makes a statement about the identity of the callers.

in an effort to protect the guilty and expose the innocent, the identity of the callers shall remain anonymous -- but it was the same typical BS as usual. accusations, judgments, lies, condescending attitudes, disrespectful tone of voice, attempts to manipulate and/or control others, guilt trips, inability to hear or see (or even acknowledge) both sides of an issue, obvious partiality, overblown egos, and the same old promises of a possible relationship in the future if i/he/we just did "this" or "that". maybe the caller should make a note -- no matter how loud he shouts, actions speak much louder than words.

how can a mind be so narrow as to think that there is only one side to an issue? how can an ego be so big as to think that any or all my decisions or our decisions or actions revolve around him? how can a person be so blind as to think something was done just to inconvenience or hurt him at a particular time in his life in comparison to the activities of his life? why would the caller think i care about what is going on or when it is going on for him -- or that i would even know about it?

why would the caller be so ignorant as to think that the decision to work on a relationship or to have a relationship is up to him to decide? wouldn't that involve the feelings of more than one person? why would this person think that dangling that old carrot out there "if you do what i want, when i want, how i want, and don't make any demands on me or my life . . . . maybe someday we can work on our relationship" would have an impact on the listener? and if so, why should the listener care? i know i don't care about those empty promises.

sounds more like a threat to me! what an idea, huh? "if you're not careful, i'm going to be your friend!" ugh! i don't think so. the idea that i would be so desperate for companionship that i would seek out that type of person for love/affection/acceptance/friendship -- not bloody likely.

if i could not do any better in life than to seek the friendship and trust of people of this caliber, it would be a sorry existence. but imagine the security that ego provides the person -- "well, some day they are going to be sorry that they didn't want to kiss my ass when they had the chance!" at the same time, i'm thinking "don't bet on it. i don't have the time or the desire for friends like you. after all, w/ friends like that . . . who needs enemies?"

lucky for me, i had an appropriate shirt on that just fit that day --

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